Life beyond lockdown

Back to normality

For many of us the idea of switching back to 'normality' after lockdown can bring a whole range of confusing emotions to the surface - whether with home life, work or socially. In this instance we'll assume normality means the point where any emotional distress and physical restrictions as a result of COVID-19 are minimalized or no longer exist.

Optimising your mindset and values can help with a smooth transition back to how things were before the pandemic ensued - and even propel you to a more meaningful outlook.

Mindset

There are many benefits in approaching these next few months with a flexible mindset - in that we are accepting of the situation we are individually in. Acceptance plays a big part in many therapies. We don't always have to like a negative thought or feeling but by accepting them as a normal part of life, and not fight them, they are less likely to cause internal turmoil.

With an acceptance mindset we understand that thoughts come and go, but they don't define who we are. We consider that negative thoughts are rarely factual and in many instances they disappear completely when we become less fixated on them.

We can simulate this mindset with the metaphor of the yellow mini. Spend a few seconds visualising a yellow mini in your mind. How bright the yellow is, how compact the car appears, how shiny the alloys are. The sounds the engine makes as it accelerates, the smell of burning rubber.

Now for 1 minute (starting now) try your hardest not to think about a yellow mini driving around a roundabout time and time again.

Done? Chances are you thought about the yellow mini. Or even if you weren't directly thinking of it, you felt like you were trying not to think of it.

This example is a simple metaphor for how we process and attempt to diffuse unwanted thoughts and how the more we try to suppress thoughts and feelings the more prominent they often become.

Values

How well aligned are you to your values? Coming out of lockdown is a good time to connect with your values. Spend some time contemplating what defines you as a person and strive to move in a direction which satisfies these needs.

In this example we see a personal trainer who isn't satisfying their values and the repercussions this can have. The individual suffers from social anxiety (nervousness in social situations) and can't face going to work.

This could be applied to anyone who feels they become withdrawn or even avoid situations that make them feel anxious, which may have been exasperated during lockdown.

The personal trainer holds workplace values such as being a good teacher, a motivator to others, empathy and pride in appearance - but when suffering from social anxiety he is frequently unable to achieve any of these things due to the constraints of his mental illness.

Some days he is completely debilitated by this and he gets his colleague to cover his sessions. In the context of an anxiety sufferer, this causes him to negative self talk, ruminate and question why he is unable to do such basic behaviours that he wants so badly, that 'everyone else' can do with ease. This lowers his confidence, happiness and further destabilises his mindset.

Avoiding going to work reduced his anxiety in the short term; it instantly makes him feel less stressed, less anxious and he was relieved – he 'felt good'. But crucially in the long term this coping mechanism of avoidance, becomes a detrimental learned behaviour. The next time he encounters social anxiety, he has (subconsciously) learned that in order to get the 'feel good' he must avoid the situation.

Of course this is a specific, and perhaps unrelatable, example. But the key point is how working towards your values greatly influences a positive mental well-being.

Some general tips for boosting mental wellbeing...

Stay connected with people

Talk about your worries

Stick to the facts (not social media opinions)

Do things you enjoy

Focus on the present

Be mindful (as in keep the mind occupied)

If you are feeling trapped or bogged down with the current (or alternative) situation consider reaching out – I would be very happy to hear from you.