I don’t like myself

This is quite a profound statement. But perhaps not in an obvious way. On the surface we would probably interpret this as I don’t have a high opinion of myself, or I don’t like how I act, or maybe how I appear. Perhaps not this exact statement, but all of us have likely structured a similar statement towards ourself.

I am frustrated with myself

I am proud of myself

I can’t live with myself anymore

What makes these statements so profound without realising is they suggest I have not one, but two, identities; who is the ‘myself’ that ‘I’ recognises?

We may see ourselves as ‘one’ but whenever we encounter this kind of statement we are experiencing an identification with our unconscious, conditioned thinking.

There is the ‘true I’ which are our values, what defines us as a human, things which don’t ever change with our circumstances and things which aren’t ‘achievable‘ or of material.

And then there is myself, our identification with who we are, no more than a bundle of thoughts, perceptions, past experiences that happen continuously, which give us this sense of self. Or ‘myself’.

If you were to imagine growing up with completely different experiences, your perception of the world around you would also be very different. And if those perceptions were to be practiced consistently, perhaps daily, a different outlook of the world, and a different identity within is formed.

This version of you may likely be unrecognisable to the present you.

It is easy to see how fragile and changeable the identity of ‘myself’ really is. As this identity is born out of our perceptions and thoughts, it is in fact a pseudo identity; a narrative based sense of self, for which we cling to and believe to be ‘I’.

But when we become fully aware of our repeated thinking patterns and understand what they represent, we are able to begin the process of detaching ourselves from this pseudo identity.

When we disidentify with this pseudo identity we enable a deeper state of consciousness and there is space for the true I. Your core values, what defines you as a person, who you truly are. We become more detached from thinking and more present.

When presence and awareness becomes primary we no longer identify with thinking.