Why did I choose to react that way?

You may have experienced a situation in which you overreacted, perhaps during a dispute or an argument. A common afterthought is “why did I choose to react that way?”.

Most often we don’t actually choose to react, as we are being driven by our unconscious, conditioned mind. The choice of reacting only becomes an option when we are consciously self aware. Being self aware in this situation is when we are able to observe or witness the feelings as they develop, and we have an element of choice in the outcome.

Self awareness needs to be practiced so that it becomes the normal trail of thought during a situation which calls for an instinctive reaction. For example if we say something hurtful in the heat of a moment, in the early stages of awareness it may take some time to realise the impact of what was said. The next time it happens this awareness may only take a few days, then a day, then an hour, to the point where awareness can be present alongside the feeling of anger or frustration in real time. At this point we are able to change the direction of an overreaction through our self awareness.